Chapter 5

BPOV

I was sitting on my bed and I was still in shock. My nightmare had not only varied for the first time since I was nine, it had completely done a one-eighty. It took me from the trapping sun and heat of my first home in Phoenix, to the cool safety of Forks, stopping my nightmare before its gruesome conclusion, and replacing it with a beautiful dream. 

My hands kept roaming over the places I swear I felt him touch, my jaw, my cheeks, my lips, my forehead, and I became disappointed as I of course felt no lingering heat there. In the places where our bodies had touched, there was an odd vacancy to it, it almost hurt to lose the closeness we had, despite the fact it didn’t actually happen. For the first time in years, I wished I was asleep again.

What I couldn’t get over was that it had all felt so real. My nightmares had always felt very real, but never my good dreams. I could even remember the soft skin that I had felt on Edward’s face with my fingers, and I wanted try it out in person as soon as possible so I could compare the dream to reality, though I doubted that it could be as magical as my dream.

I was so amazed that this could happen, and I was in awe that Edward’s presence in my life the last couple days had the ability to make me feel the way I did, in both real life and in my dreams. You can’t let go of this one, my own brain selfishly thought. I had already felt Edward act as a soothing balm to my fears and anxiety’s, and if his presence in my life had the ability to edit my nightmares, then it was very tempting not to let Edward go, ever.

But what would we be then? Would we be just friends as he had promised? Or would I let it get further? I had wanted to kiss him in the store, I had even initiated it in my dream, and I knew it would be easy to give in, but I couldn’t. I had to keep him out of that, out of that part of my life. He wasn’t a Mike, and he wasn’t a Tyler; he was not someone I would be able to separate the sexual and the emotional, and for my survival, that was completely necessary.

It would be disastrous if I ever fell in l...fuck, I couldn’t even think the word, if I ever cared for him too much… I shook my head. No, that couldn’t happen. I would hurt, he would hurt, and he would leave. Leave just like my dad did, two fucking days after my seventh birthday. My mother pushed him away with her love, and if there was one thing I knew, I knew how much love gave someone the power to break you.

Edward and I being together would only lead to two possibilities: Edward could one day leave, and that would strike the final nail in coffin that housed my sanity, or I could hurt him. Hurt him so badly that I would taint his beautiful, precious soul, and that would hurt me far more then anything else he could ever do to me. He deserved so much better then that.

So Edward and I would be friends, great ones even, which I know we would be, as I was already getting closer to him then I was to even Rose or Jasper, but he couldn’t not love me, or I him, and that would always have to be off the table for us. I sucked in a ragged breath and was surprised by how much that thought actually hurt me, and I got up before I could cry once more today.

I ripped off my uniform in quick movements and headed to my bathroom to shower, not even bothering to throw on a robe or anything. I lived alone and I doubted that someone paid that close attention to me. I turned the knob on my shower until it was the perfect temperature, and hopped in without a glance at my reflection in the mirror this time.

I scrubbed my body mechanically, scrubbing harder in some areas, and barely going over others. For example, the long, thin scars that were scattered across my back from where his belt cut into me, I always avoided. I was always afraid they would rip open if I touched them, even though they were over a decade old now.

I really wanted to know what my mother was thinking when she invited that man into our house, but who really knew what my mother was thinking in any decision she had made. She had just always given into what her emotions told her to do, usually never thinking of the consequences. That’s what happened with him, one day it was just me and her, and the next day I find a strange, and vile man in my kitchen. He probably promised her the “stars and the moon”, or maybe just a good time, either way she fell for it, and I of course paid the price for her decision.

I forced my eyes shut as images flashed across my vision. His hands grabbing me as I tried to run away, the glint of the buckle as he raised it in his hands, the frightening speed it stuck me with, and my white t-shirt marked with red streaks from where his belt had repeatedly lashed at me. There was blood, always blood….

“FUCK!” I yelled out as I slammed my hands into the tile. It hurt, but I welcomed the pain.

“See what you did? See what you fucking did to your own daughter?” I cursed towards the ceiling. “You didn’t care what he did to me, did you? Didn’t care what you did to me, what all the messed up shit still does to me? I fucking hate you!” I screamed, not caring if my neighbors heard me or not, they could go fuck themselves if they did. 

I hated her, I loved her.

I did not cry as my knees sunk towards the tile, and there was no tears as I  laid my head on the floor near my knees. The only moisture came from the water pelting my face from above. I was numb.

*****

I laid in the shower until the hot water ran out, and when it did, I stiffly got up, wrapped myself in a towel, and trudged back to my bedroom. I threw on the first pair of pajamas I could find, and laid back down on my bed. I was in no mood to watch television or read a book, so I was staring at the ceiling. My eyes weren’t focusing on the details in the ceiling anymore though, they weren’t focusing on anything at the moment. I don’t know how long I laid like that, not thinking, but I was shocked back to life when I heard a chirping to the left of me. I looked over, and noticed my phone was a lit up. I reached for it and looked at the screen. It was a text message, and I felt a warmth spread through me as I read who it was from. I clicked it open, and even found myself smiling as read it.

Are you still awake? -E.
No.  I happen to have the ability to text in my sleep. I joked, and I marveled at how quickly I had been able to turn my mood around.

Do you also have the ability to talk on the phone? Edward asked, playing along.  I promise   I‘m an Edward of the non-surly variety.
 
Well, there’s a deal breaker right there. My sleep self only deals with surly Edwards. -B. I was actually a little disappointed that I wasn’t going to get Edward all pissed off.

You better wake up then, because I ‘m calling you right now. He warned, and true to his word, my phone was ringing seconds later.

“Hello?” I answered with a smile.

“Hello Bella, and how are you this fine evening?” Edward said overly formal, no doubt because I chastised him yesterday about proper greetings.

“I’m alright.” I giggled, because it was true, at least now. “Though you don’t have to be so formal. If I do recall, I just stipulated about saying hello.”

“Take it as me being thorough.” He said and I could hear the smile in his voice.

“Whatever floats your boat, Cullen.” I said, and I heard him laugh on the other line. “How did your talk with your parents go?”

“Fine, I guess.” Edward sighed into the phone, “ I’ve had the same conversation with them a million times, so I kind of know what to expect by now. They want me to stay at home and not live in this shitty apartment, they want to give me money so I don’t have to work at a shitty job….” He paused. “No offence.”

“None taken.” I laughed, “My career at Books and Things is not exactly the highlight of my life right now,” I didn’t mention what actually was the highlight of my life, or rather who was. “Though I’m kind of confused. You’re parents are offering you money and you won’t take it?” I didn’t really understand why he would reject such a thing. Most people our age would gladly take hand-outs from their parents.

“That’s correct.” He answered simply.

 I wasn’t going to get it out of him easily, but since had pushed to know things about me, I was sure as hell going to push to learn things about him.

“Right,  so you’re parents seem like they are pretty well off, since you are able to have a library with a rolling ladder thing.”  Edward laughed at the last part, and I fought the urge to tell him to shut up, and I kept going with my inquires.  “So I don’t get what the deal is. If your parents can afford to do it, then why won’t you? Let them help, I mean.”

“You’ll think it’s stupid.”

“Try me.” I said. Edward sighed once again.

“I don’t like taking money from my parents because it make me feel incredibly guilty. They have done so much for me already, doing far more then they ever needed to do, and even though they offer it up freely, I can’t take it willingly. I also don’t want to end up one of those trust-fund kids that never do anything for themselves. I want to make something of my own.” Edward said with fervour.

I got the second part well, hell, I was doing pretty much the same thing, trying to take control of myself and my future, though I didn’t understand why he would feel guilty.

“But isn’t that what parents are supposed to do?” I asked. At least what ‘good’ parents do?
 
“They have, but they never had to.” He answered. My God, we were going in circles with this. Cullen is much better at being evasive then I am, and he probably doesn’t even try to do it.

“I’m…confused.” I said truthfully. Edward sounded exasperated when spoke again, and I could picture him pinching the bridge of his nose, like he done earlier today at work.

“Carlisle and Esme, my parents, are not actually my parents. They’re my parents in the way they are the only parents I’ve ever really known, but biologically they aren’t. I’m adopted.”  Edward said in a matter of fact tone. I was surprised and I really didn’t know what to say to that; I had never known anyone who was adopted before. 

“What happened to your biological parents?” I asked before realising
that was potentially rude. “I mean, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I’m just curious.” Well duh, Bella.

“It’s okay. My parents died when I was little, in a car accident.” He answered, again like it was just a statement of fact, there was no emotion behind it.

“I’m sorry.” I automatically said. I knew that those were empty words. Whenever some said ‘I’m sorry’ in reference to someone dying, you know its just because they don’t know what to say. Because really, what else are you supposed to say in the situation like that? ‘That sucks balls that your parents died, Edward’, really doesn’t have the same sentiment, does it? 

“It’s alright. They died a long time ago and I don’t really remember them all that much, so I don’t really think of them as my parents, they were just people who looked like me.”  He sounded like he was truly fine with that fact that his parents were dead, and I was surprised. After what I had gone through, I still wasn’t fine with what happened. I could barely think about my mother without breaking down, how could he be so calm about it?

“My mother died.” I blurted out and then clamped my hand over my mouth before I could spew anymore of my life out. Fuck! Why did I say that? What was with him and his ability to make me want to talk about this crap?

“What? When?” Edward asked, shocked. He must have thought I meant recently.

“When I was nine. My dad left a couple years before and she just fell apart after he left. After her…death I was sent to live with my grandparents.” I said quickly before I could start chocking up.  I hadn’t wanted to tell him this, but I did at the same time. He had told me something personal, so it was only fair. “So I guess what I’m trying to say is, I get how you feel.” I said with a sniffle. I wasn’t going to cry again, I swear.

Edward was quiet on the other line for a while, and I was regretting that I told hi, all this. Maybe his limit had been reached on ‘Bella Swan’s fucked-up life’ already.

“That really fucking sucks, Bella.” Edward said, completely serious. He was telling me the truth, but I couldn’t help but snort.

“What?” He asked, perplexed.

“It’s just. So. funny!” I said in what can only be described as a crazy person’s laughter.

“Uh,” Edward mumbled, clearly questioning my sanity. “What exactly?”

“It does fucking suck, no B.S. ‘I’m sorry’ from you Cullen!” I laughed. Maybe I had finally gone crazy.

“It’s true, I mean it.” Edward said, still obviously confused.

“I know. That’s why it’s so amazing! Everyone and anyone has told me their sorry, and you know they never fucking mean it, but you, you tell me the honest truth. That’s fucking awesome, Cullen.”

“You know you’re crazy, right?” Edward finally started to chuckle himself.

“I know.” I said, and we both laughed together.

After our laughter had died down, we moved onto less depressing topics. I found out that Edward had two adopted siblings, a brother and sister, and he spoke fondly of them. Despite his arguments with his parents, it sounded like they were definitely a close family. I told him about my rather boring existence in Forks, though he seemed rather intrigued about my small town life. He told me that he spent his entire life here in New York, and his parents just moved out to Connecticut once all their children went off to school.

We talked about music and movies, classes we had taken at NYU, even our favourite foods, grilled cheese was mine, a “kick-ass Gnocchi” (his words, not mine,) from a restaurant uptown was his. Oh, and books, endlessly books. You would think that working in a bookstore would cause you to not want to talk about them, but it did the exact opposite. We has some of the same favourites, and he had read quite a few books I had never even heard of before, and he was surprised to say the least, that I liked those vampire books that had basically taken over the planet, and currently had a massive display in the Teen Fiction section of our store.

“You can’t be serious. You like that crap?” Edward asked me, incredulous.

“They’re good.” I said in defence, albeit not the greatest defence.

“You just told me that you have read some of the finest example’s of literature there is, and you like a love story about a vampire?” He scoffed.

“Just because it’s a love story doesn’t mean it’s a shit story, and yeah, it’s no Dickens, but it’s still a great book. Plus Cullen, have you even read the book?”

“No…”

“Then you clearly have no argument here.” I said, proud of myself. “Tell you what, I’ll read one of those “masterpieces” you raved on about, and you will read my girly vampire book, deal?” I waited on the line as he contemplated offer. Come on Cullen, man up and do it!

“I don’t have all night,” I said. I heard Edward sigh, and I knew that I had got him. I suppressed the urge to laugh maniacally.

“Fine, deal.”

“Excellent.” I said with a smile. “You will like it, and you will eat you words, Cullen.”

“You think so?” Edward challenged.

“I know so.” I answered back.

We talked for at least another half hour before I heard Edward yawn, and I decided that we should probably call it night. I could have talked to Edward all night with my two naps in one day, but Edward wouldn’t really be the best conversationalist of he was asleep.

“I think I should let you go, Cullen. You sound beat.”

“Huh?” Edward said, and he sounded like he already was asleep.

“Go to bed.” I laughed into the phone.

“Okay,” he said sleepily, again all cute. He reminded me of a little boy.

“Goodnight, Edward.”

“’Night, Bella.”  He said, and I was about to hang up when I heard him speak again.

“Fuck! Bella? Are you still there?” he asked, sounding a little more awake.

“I am,” I answered.

“I uh, forgot to ask you something. I meant to ask you earlier, but I, er, got distracted.” Edward said, and he was fumbling over his words again. I had noticed that he does that when he’s nervous, and it was a pretty endearing quality since you would think that with his looks, he would be all suave and cocky, but he was pretty much the polar opposite. It didn’t make him any less charming however.

“Okay, what’s up Cullen?”

“Well, I was thinking that since we are working the evening shift tomorrow night that you would maybe like to, uh, hang out before hand?” He said nervously.

Wait, was Edward asking me out on a date? Furthermore, did hanging out even qualify as a date? I had told Edward, albeit not explicitly, that we couldn’t do the whole romantic thing, but did he listen? There was a part of me that really hoped that he hadn’t given up on me, despite my warnings.

“Um, I’m not sure-”

“-just as friends.” Edward interrupted me, and that little part of me that wished for the date, wept. The older, bigger part of me thought this was good news and that maybe my plan to just stay friends with Edward would work.

“I guess so, sure. What were you thinking?” I asked, intrigued about what our ‘friend date’ , would entail. 

“There’s this coffee place that opened up near my apartment that I wanted to try. I hear they have pretty decent stuff, and since I promised to bring you coffee every time we worked together, I thought I would kill two birds with one stone.” 

“Okay, sure. Coffee, cool.” I said ineloquently. Edward chuckled.

“I’ll text you tomorrow with the directions. Does 2:30 work for you?” He asked.

“That’s fine,” I said, pretty stunned to say anything else; I’m not going to lie, I was pretty excited for our friend date.

“Cool.” Edward said, and he seemed a bit surprised I gave in so easily. “Go to sleep now Bella, have happy dreams.” When he said that, my hear surged; he had told me almost the same thing in my dream, and it sounded even sweeter in real life.

“You too, Edward.” I said, emotion rushing through me.

“I will, Bella.” and he sounded so sure of that fact, and I was envious I couldn‘t say the same thing.

 As we disconnected, I hoped that maybe, just maybe, I could get away with a dream interception by Edward again, I prayed for it even. I turned off my light and settled into my bed with a smile on my face, and fell asleep quickly.

I should have known better by now that I wouldn’t escape my nightmare twice in one night.
 


EPOV

For the third time in a row I was up at the crack of dawn, though this morning I could slept for another four or five hours since Bella had me talking late and I didn’t have to be at work until five tonight. However I was up and wide awake as soon as the light started coming through my window.

I was eager, and I was overwhelmingly anxious. I didn’t know what our date, that wasn’t really date, would bring, and I really wasn’t sure how I was going to act. There were so many confusing things about our relationship, I didn’t know when I was pushing her boundaries of what she wanted us to be, and I didn’t know how to reconcile the part of myself that wanted to be Bella’s friend, and the other part that wanted much more then that. I had spent some ‘quality time’ with Little Eddie last night in the shower, to somewhat quash the less then pure feelings I felt toward Bella, but the other feelings were harder to control.

I wanted to be both, and she wouldn’t let me for whatever reason.
 
I wanted to stick around, because even though she had told me a few times now that she was afraid of losing me, I was equally afraid of losing her. It was the other reason why I would be Bella’s friend, because not only did I not want to hurt her, I knew that I couldn’t be without her now. My desire to just be near to her or hear her voice was growing, and I knew it wouldn’t stop.

I’m a glutton for punishment, I know.

Bella had to feel something towards me though, right? As I made my gourmet breakfast of toast and a fried egg, I made a mental list of markers that would indicate that Bella had feelings for me, feelings that meant she liked me more then just a friend.

Firstly, she had almost always initiated physical contact between us, and had only turned away from the kiss at the last moment.

She apparently watched me at work, and I had feeling it wasn’t exactly necessary for her to do that. She would come to find me to talk, and she always seemed regretful when we had to part ways at the end of the day. She had told me that I was one of the few people she could hug, and she had said my name and asked me to stay, all in her dream.

We had talked for hours on end last night, and I had been surprised that we were able to go from light and joking, to some pretty serious stuff, and back again in the same conversation. That conversation had let me learn so much about Bella, finally giving me some clues to how Bella’s mind worked.

I had always been okay with my parents death because I truly didn’t remember them much. I was barely able to walk when it happened, and I was at the babysitter’s when they were hit by some drunk driver. There were no known relatives that could take me, so I ended up staying in a foster home for six months. I don’t really remember that time either, other then that there was always kids everywhere, and that there was a woman there smelled like cheese that always wanted to pick me up. That’s where Carlisle and Esme found me and Alice, apparently becoming besotted with the both of us in one glance.

When we were children, I used to tease Alice that they got her only because it was a two-for-one deal at the foster home that day. I was only joking, but it wasn’t until years later that I found out that she actually believed me, and that taunt actually really upset her. Why Alice didn’t hate me now was a miracle.

It was clear however, that Bella was not okay with her mother’s death. Or her father leaving for that matter. It was clear in her voice as she spoke of them, there was sadness, and there was a hint of hatred there, for both of them. Maybe because her mother’s death was far more recent, and she could actually remember her mother, was the reason why she still held anger towards her. I didn’t really know, I’m no psychologist.

 Maybe this is what she meant when she told me she was “fucked up”. I didn’t truly believe that she was, and I didn’t like that she described herself that way. She made herself sound like she was broken beyond repair, and I couldn’t imagine that being true for Bella. She could be broken, but I refused to believe that she was unable to be saved.

Did this mean I wanted to ‘fix’ Bella? No. I don’t think Bella needed to be fixed in anyway, she was already perfect the way she was. She was just someone in need, someone in grief, and somewhere in her life, she had lost the light. I hoped that maybe, I could be the one to help her find it again.

*****

After I had finished cleaning up after breakfast, I had tons of time to kill before I had to meet Bella. I was nervous as fuck, so I tried to keep myself busy. I showered and got dressed, trying on at least four different shirts before settling on a red t-shirt and jeans. I normally never did this, I would usually just pick up whatever smelled somewhat clean off my floor, and throw it on. But this was the first time Bella would be seeing me in something other then the hideous Books and Things uniform, so I wanted to look decent.

Shut-up, I know I’m acting like a girl. Sue me.

When I was finished with that, I looked over my classes for next semester and wrote down the books I would need to buy that were on my reading lists. By the look of the huge list, I would have to start some of them soon, and I would be making good use of my employee discount.

I then spent a couple hours looking at law schools, since I would have to start applying to them in the fall. I had already taken the LSAT’s earlier this year and I had done pretty well, so I wasn’t too worried about not getting in anywhere, it was just the choice of where I wanted to go.

Ever since I was in high school, I was determined to go to Harvard Law, mostly because of the prestige, and partly because Carlisle went to the medical school there. But now, I was considering other options. Yale, Princeton, Berkeley, Columbia… I spent the most time looking at Columbia, telling myself that it was because if I went there, I wouldn’t have to move, I knew the city well, etc, but all that really didn’t matter. I knew the reason why I was considering Columbia now, and it would be incredibly stupid if I based my decision around that one element. For one, I didn’t even know what Bella was planning to do after graduation, or where she would go, and two, I didn’t even know how Bella felt about me, and I was already basing major life decisions around her? I guess I could go check the box “Edward Cullen is crazy” with a big red checkmark now.

I sighed and looked at the clock, and saw that it was only noon. Damn it, I still had two hours to kill.

For the next couple hours, I did probably everything to not think about Bella and our up coming non-date. I checked my email several times, watched CNN until I got bored, and I even called up Garrett to see what he was up to. He tried to convince me to come out tonight, in which I told him I was working tonight so that was no go. He then made me promise that I would go out on Friday night to some club downtown that apparently had ‘quality chicks‘. There was only one ‘quality chick’ I had in mind, but I wasn’t about to tell Garrett that.

 I wanted to talk to someone about this ridiculous situation I put myself in, but who could I really talk too? Garrett and Ben were horn-dogs and would just tell me to fuck her and get it over with. I would probably get a similar response from Emmett, and discussing this with either of my parents was totally out of the question. That left Alice, and as much as I loved my little sister, I don’t if I could talk to her about this, at least not yet.

“Argh!” I grunted, as I  ran my fingers through my hair and tugged on the ends. I was frustrated on top being nervous/excited. It was a great combo; I was tense, fidgety, and had a scowl on my face, all because of a beautiful, complex, and frustrating woman. 

I was getting nowhere with my thinking, so I decided that it would be okay to leave a bit early to get to the coffee shop. It took me about ten minutes to get to Java Planet, the coffee shop I had told Bella about, and since I was early, I decided to look around the place.

It looked pretty similar to most of the “hip” coffee shops that were scattered around the city; it had plush loungers, and all the tables were mismatched, along with the chairs. On the walls, there was photography and art pieces that were done by local artists, and the lighting was bright and cheery. It looked at least like a cool place to hang out, it was a nice change from the uniformity of the Starbucks I had been going to, and I really hoped Bella would like it.

I glanced down at my phone and noticed it was just reaching 2:30, and I went to go back outside to wait for Bella. I had only been waiting for a few minutes when I finally could see her, and when I did, I’m pretty sure my jaw dropped to floor.

Bella’s long brown hair was tousled around her face, creating messy, and very sexy waves. Her creamy, flawless skin was framed beautifully by the dark blue tank top she was wearing. I looked down and saw her legs were sheathed only in a small pair of denim shorts, and they showcased her long, lithe legs perfectly. When Bella saw me, a huge smile spread across her face, which was quickly replaced with confusion, I then realised that my jaw was still on the floor, and I snapped my jaw shut quickly.

“What?” Bella asked, looking down at her shirt and pulling it out in front of her. “Do I have something on my shirt?”, She said, frowning down at her shirt.

“No, you don’t.” I answered, “You look lovely, actually.” I said truthfully, and Bella blushed wildly.

“You don’t look half bad yourself, Cullen.” She told me, still not looking me in the eye and blushing like crazy.

“Thanks, I guess?”

“I mean it. You look good in red.” And with that, I vowed to add more red clothing to my wardrobe. This time it was my turn to blush.

“Shall we?”, I said, pulling the door open for her. Bella gave me a light smile and then blushed again as she walked through the door. I didn’t really know exactly what I was doing to do that, but I hoped I was doing something right. I put Bella’s frequent blush around me on the pro-list that Bella liked me.

When we got to the counter, I ordered a iced coffee for myself and a vanilla latte for Bella. The sandwiches looked pretty decent as well, so I ordered myself a turkey club.

“Do you want anything?” I said, motioning to the menu on the wall. Bella didn’t see that though because she was staring very intently at a plate of brownies. She shook her head ‘no’ absently, still without breaking her gaze at the brownies. If one could eye-fuck a dessert, Bella would be a prime example.

“Anything else?” The girl behind the counter asked me.

“Yeah, one of those brownies please.” I answered, and Bella looked up at me in surprise.

“Do you want that heated up?” The server asked and I looked to Bella.

“Oh God yes.” Bella answered, her eyes wide; she was practically drooling. 

“I can pay you back…” Bella said softly as I paid for our food. She really needed to get used to me taking care of her, because I wasn’t about to stop anytime soon.

“I asked you out, it’s my treat. Plus I really don’t think one brownie is going break the bank.” I smiled.

“Okay,” Bella conceded, “But you have to let me treat you next time.” Did she just say ‘next time?’ I was so happy with the possibility of ‘next time’ , that I had a very hard time stopping myself from not doing a celebration dance in the middle of the shop.

“Deal.” I said as we sat down at a small table. The server came by shortly with our drinks and Bella’s brownie; my sandwich was taking a bit longer.

“Go ahead, I don’t mind.” Bella was looking like she wanted to dive into her dessert, but didn’t since I didn’t have my food yet. Bella smiled and stabbed her fork into the brownie, and I watched as she lifted the fork slowly to her lips and took a bite. She closed her eyes and licked her lips, and I had to stop myself from drooling as Bella let out a small moan.

“Holy shit, this is good.” Bella said while taking another bite and hummed in contentment. I felt myself shift underneath the table, and I tried to look away, looking at anything other then Bella and her borderline orgasmic brownie.

Being just friends with Bella was going to be way more difficult then I thought.

“Should I leave you two alone?” I said looking pointedly at the brownie on her plate and not her mouth.

“Shut it, this is one damn good brownie. Whoever made this piece of chocolate heaven needs to seriously ne put into sainthood.” Bella said, and then suddenly I had a fork full of brownie in my face. I looked at Bella’s face then and she was smiling a huge smile at me. “Come on Edward, you have to try this. I swear you’ll have a religious experience.”

“Well, in that case,” I joked and went to take the fork from her, but she refused to let go. I realized then that she wanted feed me it, and that struck me. This was not something you would do with a casual friend, it was actually a rather intimate gesture. Bella was flirting with me, and not very stealthily either. My hope continued to rise that Bella really didn’t want to just be friends, she was just afraid of ‘us’ for some reason.

I opened my mouth as she slowly, and almost sensually, fed me the brownie from her plate. Fuck, it was good, and in combination with Bella’s movements, I groaned loudly, forgetting that we were in a public place in the middle of that day, with quite a few people around. I opened my eyes and I could see Bella flushing red from her chest, up her neck, and all over her cheeks. I don’t know what Bella saw in my face, but she gulped before breaking eye contact with me, and stabbed her fork to get another bite for herself.

“You’re right,” I said, my voice husky. “That was good.”

A/N: I won't be updating for a couple weeks as I will be on vacation, but I promise to have a new chapter ready to go when I get back!